i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
