I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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