I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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