I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Life is so much better after having sex.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I deserve this hangover.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
