Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
just tell him i said nine months
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
