CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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