So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
