Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Randomize
