His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
