Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
wow bdsm is so cute
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
