Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I intend to get homeless drunk
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
