is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Randomize