Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize