Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
