I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Randomize
