It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
