i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
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