I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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