Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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