there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
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