Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize