what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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