Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
