It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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