My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize
