You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
you traded sex for a burrito?
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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