Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize