We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
