Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
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