So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
Randomize
