I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
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