I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
