david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
A+ Viking dick
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize
