ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
So much rum. So many feels.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
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