windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
