Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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