Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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