I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
