Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
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