For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
