my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
