Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
