So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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