Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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