he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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