but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize