Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
