Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
splinters make it hard to masturbate
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
