Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
