If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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