I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
