R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
