Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Randomize
