Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Randomize
