saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Randomize
