The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
