how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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