Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
