I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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