I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Randomize
