69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
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