He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
