i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize