Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
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