The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
now i know why i became what i already was.
sarcasm needs its own font
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
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