oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Randomize
