3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
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