I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
