Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
