he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
