"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
