i just had sex bonerless
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
