I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
