Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
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