Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Randomize
