Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
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