I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
