Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize