can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Randomize
